Joke Thread

[AZVAJKU]

are these from a joke book? If so I want to buy it. lol

A friend sent these to me.

 

[Traciehue]

My wife sat next to me as I was flipping through channels.

"What’s on TV?" she asked.

"Dust," I replied.

And that’s when the fight began.

 

[jesse3638]

 

[Ddays]

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[jeeeep]

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she was a funny woman!

 

[kevman65]

she was a funny woman!

And no fucks given, if it came into her head, she said it, didn't care who got pissed off.

 

[WJCO]

If you get an email titled "knock, knock" don't answer it. It's a Jehovah Witness working from home.

 

[Ddays]

Why did the cowboy get a weiner dog?


He wanted to get a long little doggie

 

[Ddays]

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[OverlanderJK]

A father told his 3 sons to put $1000 in his casket when he died so they could show their appreciation for the education he paid for. When he passed away his sons, a doctor, a lawyer and a professor, all showed up to fulfill his wish. The doctor and professor each put $1000 on his chest. The lawyer wrote a check for $3000 and took the $2000 in cash

 

[Sharkey]

A father told his 3 sons to put $1000 in his casket when he died so they could show their appreciation for the education he paid for. When he passed away his sons, a doctor, a lawyer and a professor, all showed up to fulfill his wish. The doctor and professor each put $1000 on his chest. The lawyer wrote a check for $3000 and took the $2000 in cash

That’s great! I’m a lawyer and have two brothers, one is a doctor and one is a teacher.

But I’m not sure where you get a $1,000 education?!?

 

[bobfriesenhahn]

That’s great! I’m a lawyer and have two brothers, one is a doctor and one is a teacher.

But I’m not sure where you get a $1,000 education?!?

Public school system.

 

[WJCO]

Why do they name hurricanes after women?




Because when they come, they're wet and wild, and when they leave, they take your house, car, and your stuff.

 

[Ddays]

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[NPC 6060⁸42]

 

[DFanning]

A Man, who is in a mythical costume, hires a prostitute and takes her to a hotel. They go at it for 8 hours straight, after the man stands above her and says.... You know of course that I'm Thor. The prostitute says, Your Thor? I'm so thor I can't Pith..