Joke Thread
- Thread starter Sharkey
- Start date
2007 JKU CANADA
Hooked
why can't a nose be 12 inches long ?
because then it would be a foot.
because then it would be a foot.
HighwayTrout
Hooked
HighwayTrout
Hooked
WJCO
Meme King
Well-played. A joke indeed. Communism alive and well over there in Alameda County.
HighwayTrout
Hooked
I couldn’t believe it. Though I’m not surprised for that waste land of a county. 7.4 hospitalizations per 100k.
clown world
TrailHunter
Hooked
Probably been posted already.. but still funny.
I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would you buy beer? He said no he hadn't had a beer in years. Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy Jeep parts? He again said no, he got rid of his Jeep 15 years ago. So then I said I'll do you better than $20. I'll take you home get you all cleaned up. My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you. Then I'll bring you back & still give you $20.
He asked me won't she get mad? I said it didn't matter.…I just wanted her to see what happens to a man when he stops drinking & building Jeeps.
I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would you buy beer? He said no he hadn't had a beer in years. Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy Jeep parts? He again said no, he got rid of his Jeep 15 years ago. So then I said I'll do you better than $20. I'll take you home get you all cleaned up. My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you. Then I'll bring you back & still give you $20.
He asked me won't she get mad? I said it didn't matter.…I just wanted her to see what happens to a man when he stops drinking & building Jeeps.
trailraider
Active Member
apparently the Danish government is putting barcodes on the side of all their ships
this is so they can Scandinavian
this is so they can Scandinavian
Last edited:
WJCO
Meme King
A guy walks into a tattoo shop and tells the artist that he wants a 50 dollar bill tattooed on his dick. The artist agrees but can't help but ask the customer why. The customer says, "I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and the next time my wife wants to blow fifty bucks, she won't have to leave the house."
GP NOIR
Hooked
The only guy happy with inflation
WJCO
Meme King
A couple was golfing one day on a very exclusive golf course, lined with million dollar homes.
On the third tee, the husband said, “Honey be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows, it will cost a fortune to fix.”
The wife teed off and shanked it right through the window off the biggest house on the course.
The husband cringed and said, “I told you to watch out for the houses. Lets go apologize, and see how much this is going to cost.”
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, “Come in.”
They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man sitting on the couch said, “Are you the people that broke that window?”
“Yes, sorry about that,” the husband replied.
“No actually I want to thank you. I’m a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You released me. I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish and keep one for myself.”
“OK, great!” the husband said. “I want a million dollars a year for life.”
“No problem, its the least I could do. And you, what do you want?” the genie said, looking at the wife.
“I want a house in every country in the world,” said the wife.
“Consider it done,” the genie replied.
“And what is your wish, genie?” the husband asked.
“Well since I have been trapped in that bottle, I haven’t had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.”
The husband looked at the wife and said, “Well we did get a lot of money, and all those houses, honey. I guess I don’t care.” It was OK with the wife too.
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over the, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife and asked, “How old are you and your husband?”
“He’s 35 and I’m 33,” she replied.
“And you both believe in genies? That’s amazing....”
On the third tee, the husband said, “Honey be very careful when you drive the ball. Don’t knock out any windows, it will cost a fortune to fix.”
The wife teed off and shanked it right through the window off the biggest house on the course.
The husband cringed and said, “I told you to watch out for the houses. Lets go apologize, and see how much this is going to cost.”
They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, “Come in.”
They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man sitting on the couch said, “Are you the people that broke that window?”
“Yes, sorry about that,” the husband replied.
“No actually I want to thank you. I’m a genie that was trapped for a thousand years in that bottle. You released me. I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll give you each one wish and keep one for myself.”
“OK, great!” the husband said. “I want a million dollars a year for life.”
“No problem, its the least I could do. And you, what do you want?” the genie said, looking at the wife.
“I want a house in every country in the world,” said the wife.
“Consider it done,” the genie replied.
“And what is your wish, genie?” the husband asked.
“Well since I have been trapped in that bottle, I haven’t had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife.”
The husband looked at the wife and said, “Well we did get a lot of money, and all those houses, honey. I guess I don’t care.” It was OK with the wife too.
The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. After it was over the, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife and asked, “How old are you and your husband?”
“He’s 35 and I’m 33,” she replied.
“And you both believe in genies? That’s amazing....”
WJCO
Meme King
It's a beautiful warm spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo.
She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape.
He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand.
He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.
The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along.
She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs."
... this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.
Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."
She's wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. As they walk through the ape exhibit and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape.
He jumps up on the bars, holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), grunting and pounding his chest with the free hand.
He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress. The husband, noticing the excitement, suggests that his wife tease the poor fellow.
The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom, and play along.
She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall, she does, and Mr. Gorilla is just about to tear the bars down. "Now try lifting your dress up your thighs."
... this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy.
Then, quickly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and says, "Now, tell HIM you have a headache."
WJCO
Meme King
A nun is taking a bath and hears a knock on the door. The nun asks, “Who is it?” A man replies, “It’s the blind man!” Thinking, oh he’s blind what harm could it do she then responds “Come in.” A man comes through the door with a utility belt around his waist and tape measure in hand. He looks at the nun and says “Nice tits, where you want the blinds?”
