Happy St. Paddy's Day, You Reprobates!


Active Member
WARNING! Today is St. Patrick's Day. I will be deeply offended if I see anyone not wearing a green tee shirt. Unless you're orange Irish. Then you should wear an orange tee shirt. In fact, you should just play it safe and wear an orange and green tee shirt. At the same time. We all know how holy St Paddy's Day is to the Irish. It celebrates the great St. Patrick who played the pied pipes and lead all the snakes out of Ireland. What is little known is St. Patrick lead those snakes to the south, where they became English. So no wearing of English flags, green or orange.

St. Patrick is very important to American history. He built an ark which he filled with good Irishmen and parted the Atlantic and wandered the Seven Seas for forty years and forty nights, carried on the backs of a thousand and one Leprechauns. Until they landed at the Blarney Stone on that fateful day March 17, bearing gifts of whiskey, potatoes and corned beef. It was at the Blarney where they met the now famous Indian Chief, TEOTWAWKI. Chief TEOTWAWKI was so grateful for the whiskey, he gave the Irish Tammany Hall and one of the sacred tenements of American politics was established. That everyone had the right to vote- including the dead. So it was that the Irish- living and dead- voted themselves as the first Americans.

Unfortunately, St Patrick committed the Unforgivable Sin during that ocean voyage. During The Great storm, he allowed a drop of whiskey to fall from his cup whereupon it fell to the table and was lost. For that, St. Patrick was denied the Promised Land and was taken up by God before the Irish entered Tammany Hall. Thus St. Patrick was not able to drive out the nest of vipers that gathered in Washington DC that plague all good Americans to this day.

It is important that we allow no one to bring dishonor to the deeds and sacrifices made St. Patrick and let all know we will be deeply offended if anyone were to wear a tee shirt with the English flag. Or snakes. No snakes. Or kangaroos, as we all know a kangaroo is nothing more than a snake with a carpet bag and a pair of springs

Thank you and Happy St. Patrick's Day. Wear green. Orange too. At the same time. For now, that'll do in a pinch
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